I forgot my earphones…

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  • Ang di lumingon sa pinanggalingan, di makakarating sa paroroonan (he who does not look at his origin/past will not reach his destination/future)… the person who said this must have been seated on the rear-facing seats of the bus, much like myself now.
  • What constitutes an emergency? Who decides what’s an emergency or not? Can an emergency for a neurotic be accepted as an emergency for everyone else?
  • If you did something that’s against the law, why do you pay a fine? Shouldn’t it be not fine, or any other antonym of fine?
  • Which is harder, a person’s skull or a hard hat?
  • Can we rename stairs to manual escalators?
  • Tow trucks are the vehicle equivalent of bouncers carrying you out of the club.
  • Slaughterhouse, laughterhouse. It’s amazing how one letter can be the entire difference between a comedy club and a vegan converter.
  • Are you half-asleep or half-awake?
  • How do you fire a firefighter?
  • There’s nothing plain about airplanes.
  • Red is the universal sign for stop. Except for bulls.
  • Why do they call it skydiving when you’re going in the opposite direction of the sky?
  • Does a scarecrow specifically scarecrows? Are other birds not afraid of it?
  • If a computer mouse becomes an actual mouse, were you clicking using its head or butt? If you say head, what’s the damn wire supposed to be? Disregard the question if you’re using a wireless mouse.
  • Can a telephone on a cruise ship still be called a landline?
  • I’d like to think that whenever a new Ikea branch opens up somewhere, it has a huge instruction sheet along with a giant Allen wrench for the construction workers to use.
  • How often do birds take a bath?
  • Could you still call it a soft drink when Coke is frozen solid?
  • Should it still be called an elevator when it's going down?
  • Should I start getting therapy?

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