The Hopeful Pessimist

A few weeks ago, I shared that I applied for an internal vacancy at work. Now, let me fill you in on what unfolded...

I received an email informing me about a final interview for the position. Three of us were shortlisted, and I mentally prepared myself for an inevitable conversation with unfamiliar individuals, vying for a position where I felt barely qualified. As any introvert would attest, this was no easy task. And trust me, I speak from personal experience as an introvert.

The day before the interview, I was working the night shift. I received an email instructing me to call the hiring manager at 9 AM the following day. Throughout my shift, my mind was preoccupied with the upcoming interview scheduled for the following afternoon. I finally arrived home around 8 AM, watching some Louis CK videos to keep myself awake until the 9 AM call time. At 8:59, I made the call.

The hiring manager requested that I submit an essay about my experiences in the company so far, with a word limit of less than 1000 words. The deadline for submission was 1 PM, just a few hours before the interview at 3 PM. Although sleep-deprived, I assured myself I could manage it. Of course, I was lying to myself.

With my consciousness fading in and out, I pushed through the essay, only reaching little over 300 words. Well, they did say "below 1000 words," right?

I sent the essay, defying my grandmother's voice in my head that advised against showering when sleep-deprived and headed out to face my inner demons.

Arriving at the office building 15 minutes before the interview, I found myself as the first candidate in the interview venue. Soon after, a confident-looking woman in a pantsuit joined me. She turned out to be a supervisor from the hotel's spa, also present for the interview. Her aura of self-assuredness made me question my own chances. 

We sat in the conference room, awaiting the panel that would conduct the interview. It was just the two of us; I wasn't sure if the third shortlisted candidate would arrive. In an attempt at small talk, the woman (for anonymity's sake, let's call her Dy) and I exchanged a few awkward words. We sat there in uncomfortable silence. And to add to the awkwardness, my stomach suddenly growled, echoing through the empty office space. Dy politely giggled as I pretended not to notice. I never eat before an interview to avoid the possibility of feeling nauseous due to nervousness.

After an hour of waiting, the panel of interviewers finally arrived. It seemed like a deliberate test of patience on the part of the hiring managers. By the time they showed up, half of my nervousness had already dissipated. I was the first one to be interviewed, and all my anxiety seemed to vanish.

Honestly, I can't recall the specifics of what transpired during the interview. It went by in a blur, and I was relieved when it was over. All I know is that I performed well in the initial parts, but stumbled a bit towards the end, struggling with some stuttering.

Dy had her turn after me. I held the door for her and wished her good luck before heading straight to our office, starting my shift early. At the end of my shift, I had been awake for over 36 hours, only to find out that my day off had been canceled, requiring me to work again the following night. But that's a story for another time.

After a few days, I received an email from the hiring manager stating that I didn't secure the job. Part of me had hoped for a different outcome, but deep down

, I had a feeling it wouldn't be in my favor. Initially, it was a bit disappointing, but I quickly moved on. Perhaps it just wasn't meant for me. Dy ended up getting the job, and I'm certain she's the perfect fit.

Well, that's the summary of my experience. Until the next post.

Cheers!