Escape Plan

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Some people say that we need to study history so that we don’t repeat the mistakes of the past. I probably missed that lesson because here I am repeating the same mistake of watching a movie like this. It’s fucking Expendables all over again!

Here is the Stallone format that’s been utilized for Expendables, Expendables 2, and this new movie Escape Plan:

1.       Display the expertise of an elite team in accomplishing a given task.
2.       The said elite team is hired to do a difficult and top secret assignment.
3.       Elite team gets screwed over while performing the task.
4.       A young lady gets involved with Stallone.
5.       Every one becomes sloppy in contrast to the initial performance they showed during the start of the film.
6.       Anarchy ensues. Guns ablaze. Explosions everywhere.
7.       Stallone somehow gets the job done and gets the girl.
8.       The end.

You wouldn’t realize that the movie sucked until you come out of the theater and think about it. Let’s face it; movies like this do not require you to think about it. All that is required of you is to sit back, relax, and enjoy all the fighting and shooting and exploding. If you wanted a movie where you were required to think, then DO NOT watch this. Watch Life of Pi instead. It sucks, but at least you’re thinking.


I hope that this will be the last movie of Stallone and Schwarzenegger. I don’t have anything against them or something like that. It’s just that I kinda feel sorry for the both of them. Parang ako ang nahihirapan sa kanila, whenever they do a fight scene. Stallone looks like he can’t even move his fucking neck anymore. I’m worried they might collapse anytime during the scene. The three movies where these guys collaborated definitely earned a lot so I say it’s time to retire guys. I’m pretty sure you have plenty of money now to pay for your Botox injections.

Photo Credit: http://www.impawards.com/2013/posters/escape_plan_ver3_xlg.jpg

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